NFL Draft 2009

So I finally had a chance to sit down and do my top 10 draft pics and I only have 3 minutes to get it in so I barely even have time to type right now...but here are my initial thoughts.

1. Matt Stafford
2. Jason Smith
3. BJ Raji
4. Aaron Curry
5. Cleveland--trade
6. Eugene Monroe
7. Andre Smith
8. Michael Crabtree
9. Tyson Jackson
10. Michael Oher

...standing by (to the left of the stage at the NFL Draft at Radio City Music Hall), Stephanie Taylor...

At least the MVP was a Buckeye

There are not many positive adjectives I can use to describe the finish to tonight's Super Bowl in light of the fact that the Browns' mortal enemy has now made NFL history with six Championships. Okay so it was one hell of a game...and the one thing I can take from this game is that the game-winning catch was made by an Ohio State guy, Santonio Holmes. Holmes is why the Steelers won the game and at least those with an official opinion agreed with me and named him the MVP as a result. But, I believe that the key to this game was at the end of the first half when Kurt Warner made a huge mental error, leading to James Harrison's record-setting-longest-play in Super Bowl History and a turnaround of 10 to 14 points in favor of Pittsburgh. Other factors included penalties, Arizona's inability to use Larry Fitzgerald and Ben Roethlisberger's knack for avoiding sacks. One note on Fitzgerald is that throughout the playoffs, Todd Haley (Arizona's offensive coordinator) had been targeting Fitzgerald regardless of whether or not he was double-teamed (ranked 2nd overall in the league in targets in each week of the playoffs) and yet today he (or they or Warner) let the Steelers' defense intimidate them from throwing to their best weapon until the very end when they had no choice. In the end, Arizona ran out of time or just scored way too quickly at the end and now the really annoying thing is that despite the fact that Roethlisberger's best skill is not passing the ball, but running away from defenders, I'm now going to have to hear from those wearing terrible towels that he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame one day. Ugh.

One more small positive: at least for those betting (which is who I'm obviously writing this for), at least you won if you took the Cardinals.

Finally, for those of you, like Snoop Dog, who like to point out that this is the second victory to a black head coach (he was on ESPN's pre-game show and I was really bored earlier today), you are definitely missing the point of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech...but perhaps you actually don't care.

SBXLIII: Arizona vs. (or should I say at) Pittsburgh...

Today is Super Bowl Sunday and it's almost like Christmas for me. I've heard from everyone--my dad, mom, grandmother, old friends, new friends, people that generally harass me (you know who you are) and finally some of my best friends who I wish I were with right now in Tampa. So you all want to know who I'm picking...I like the Cardinals.

Betting on this game is almost ridiculous because it's not predictable. It just depends on who woke up ready to play today. I've liked Arizona since the playoffs began, with the exception of a strange vision I had at the gym of #7 when I was trying to think about who would win. After all, it is a home game for the Steelers. But, I do have one question? What happened to Brenda Warner-- Kurt's wife? That is not what she looked like the last time her husband played in a super bowl. Anyway, one more interesting tidbit...the last time the Steelers were in the Super Bowl and the game was on ABC, the same person who produced the game then is also producing the game tonight on NBC.

And sorry Mel, Ben, Ira, etc., but go Cardinals!

A Middle Name More Shocking Than Mine...

Today is an important part of history and as many have put it, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream was realized as Barack Hussein Obama was sworn in as the 44th president. But as my uncle points out, MLK's dream was that "they would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the contact of their character" and today's emphasis was most definitely on color. And I would like to point out that after listening to a 7th grade African American boy say that NOW he can be president, I was happy for him, but sad to realize that I still cannot be president because I am a woman. Of course, if you know me, you will understand the sarcasm of that sentence given the fact that we have never had a woman president and that would never stop me from thinking I could do it. But apparently that restriction applies to others?

What I did not like from the commentary today was that one of the election commentators suggested that by having Obama as president, African American children might forget how much their ancestors struggled in recent history for equality. While history is important to remember so that we do not repeat our past mistakes, with the emphasis on the inequality and injustices of our past, in a way it gives our children reason to believe that all people are not created equal. If we go back throughout history we will find all different races and genders abhorrently oppressed at some point in time. A Hebrew law once stated that if a woman was married or engaged and was subsequently raped, she MUST be put to death. I have about 5000 years worth of material regarding the unfair treatment of women if inequality and lack of opportunity are really the topics. But, there's truly no point in living in the past without a current threat to our way of life, so I suggest let's live in the present.

And the present is that today is a monumental and historical day. It is sometimes shocking to believe that when my mother was in high school and went down to visit a friend in Tennessee, she personally experienced that African Americans (although not called that or even blacks at the time) could not walk on the same side of the street, sit in the same part of the bus or drink from the same fountain as her. That was certainly not a long time ago and that should be recognized and valued today for what it means to us. In the future, today's events will lose some of that significance, but that will be a special day because that will be when we have realized MLK's dream. And I hope that for the women out there watching the Inauguration today, that even though "we" have either been forgotten or simply disregarded, that somehow, even without a woman ever having been president, that it is not outside the realm of possibilities for a girl to think she one day can be president. Because the world has come a long way in the last few thousand years and we don't to see a woman as president to believe in ourselves.

And now back to football...

Ravens v. Steelers...I can't decide which I hate more?

This game is painful for me to watch given the fact I dislike both teams immensely and now for the third time this year I've now been forced to root for the Browns' mortal enemy, the Terrible Towels.

Luckily, I didn't find either team too impressive today, at least on offense (which is to be expected with these teams). The exception to that and also the only player I don't hate on the Ravens (due to reparations owed on behalf of the state of Ohio for the Buckeyes' taking him out on Jan 3, 2003), is Willis McGahee. On Baltimore's first touchdown drive, McGahee literally saved Flacco from being sacked with a HUGE block (although the broadcasters weren't initially watching the game, luckily their producer must have shown them a replay so they figured out that Flacco didn't just shake off the blitz), which allowed a pass to be thrown and pass-interference to be called and on the next play, a touchdown to be scored (I'm grossly over-using the passive voice and I don't care).

Next is my favorite quote of the first half. Phil Simms: "The Ravens got this game exactly where they want it." Really, Phill? They're down by six. EXACTLY where they want it? This is an irritation I have inherited from watching football with my father.

My next point of irritation was on Matt Stover's extra point following McGahee's second touchdown. Jim Nance felt compelled to point out that he scored the last point ever for the "old Cleveland Browns," which reminded me again of why I don't like the Ravens.

Back to McGahee...now that the Steelers have taken him out, they are the ones that need to make amends. But for now, I guess they'll be focusing on the Super Bowl. I can't believe they're going AGAIN.

And as much as I hate to give this honor to anyone associated with the Ravens, John Harbaugh is in contention for the hottest NFL coach award.

And then there were 10...(new head coaches)...

The same way men may enjoy ranking cheerleaders, fans, majorettes, etc., the ladies out there enjoy their own evaluation game. And after years of an easy deliberation on the subject, our "Hottest NFL Coach" position has just become a huge question mark once again. It is with sadness that I write today's post regarding the firing of Jon Gruden, not just because I'll miss his crazed, Chucky expressions, visor and workout pants, but because who is going to replace him? Ken Whisenhunt? Mike Tomlin? Josh McDaniels? Ugh. Back to the drawing board. I'll have a discussion with the women from A Girl's Fantasy and get back with an answer--- because I really don't want any male opinions when it comes to this one (those of you out there who constantly share their opinions with me on this sort of subject know who you are).

Some of My Favorite Moments from the BCS National Championship

To be completely honest, if my stereo hadn't broken, I would have happily been able to listen to Brent Musburger's call of the game on ESPN Radio via my Sirius Satellite Radio (now I just need my imaginary agent to get me some money for this blatant product placement) playing through a docking station hooked up to my speakers while watching the television broadcast on mute. But, my stereo did break and since I've implemented a new shopping rule called "at least 60% off," I'm not permitted to buy myself a new one unless it's (obviously) at least 60% off. No one should be paying full price for anything in this economy. But I digress. My point is that the broadcasters drank a little too much Tebow juice (ewww) before the game and we, the audience, suffered as a result.

Things got really bad after Tebow ran for a first down with 6 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter with the game tied at 7 all:
"Wow. Desire. Power."
"What did we say at the top of the show, Tom? He runs it, he throws it, he wills his team on. And that was desire and will on that run..."

Now of course, after Florida went up 14-7, Oklahoma came back and tied it on a touchdown from Jermaine Gresham, who lost his shoe in the process and still walked the ball into the end zone. So I'm just curious, did he will it in? Was it his desire and power and large, bulging biceps? Or did he just frigging score? Well, if it were Tebow, it would have been a lot more uncomfortable to hear the adjectives attributed to him following the score than it was given the fact it was only the Sooners' 6'6 tight end.

As I watched Florida's next scoring drive carried completely on the back of Percy Harvin lead to a field goal, followed by Ahmad Black's interception of Sam Bradford on Oklahoma's next possession give Florida the ball back with momentum on their side, I was thinking about how impressed I was by Harvin and Florida's defense. But instead I hear from the broadcast:

"And Superman strikes again...Tim Tebow--the young man unwavering in his faith and how it sustains him. His remarkable achievements off the field define him far more than those on the field. His travel to Croatia, Thailand, three times to the Phillipines with his family. On mission trips, he's fed needy children, lived in an orphanage as well as a leper colony. He is just an extraordinary young man."

"I just don't think you really can talk enough. (please note: yes, yes you can) And you and I, Charles, had a chance to be around this young man. Having never had the opportunity to meet him. You have, I haven't. All the things you hear about him from so many people and none of them do him justice until you meet him in person. He's an amazing kid. 21 years old. To think what most of us were doing at 21, the places he's been, the things he's done. Extraordinary."

I understand why someone wouldn't want to listen to a broadcast by a woman gushing over how hot the players are, how big their arms are and how great their... but my point is that who wants to listen to two men do it? I don't think I even have it in me to verbally stroke Tebow's ego to the extent the national championship broadcasters did the other night. It's creepy. And at some point I forgot that we were talking about football and was certain that it was something else. Like our national championship broadcasters, I too have been in a room with Tebow. And for quite an extended period of time as I was with ESPN Radio for the Heisman Trophy, stationed in the green room where Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and yes, Tim Tebow hung out for two hours before the broadcast. As a woman who can appreciate a guy with great arms and a nice smile, I find it odd that I wasn't attracted to Tebow nearly as much as the male broadcasters out there. I like the guy. But even when I've met some of my greatest lifetime crushes like Dan Marino and Bo Duke (i.e., John Schneider), my momentary ecstasy could not compare to what those broadcasters described to me on January 8th. They love him. I mean, they really love him. They were in a room with him for 10 minutes and it changed their lives. I was in a room with him for two hours and found out that I think the guy is quite enjoyable. Perhaps it would be safer if we had teenage girls doing the broadcast because they could concentrate more on the game and less on the "hunky" players.

And the Playoffs Solve...Nothing?

As the broadcasters continue to irritate my father, the next point of contention concerns the playoffs. The grand debate of college football, which sealed my decision NOT to vote for Obama, is of course, whether or not there should be a playoff. Anyone who truly loves college football, who watches it every week, regardless of what teams are playing, does not want a playoff. But there are those out there, some of them Texas fans, some of them Auburn fans (2004), some of them USC fans (one question for you: who did you beat?) who want a playoff, who say we can't have a true championship without a playoff. To that my father has one question: how do we have a real championship in the NFL this year without the Patriots involved? And I agree with him (please note, to be certain we do NOT like the Patriots). They went 11-5, tied for the third best record in the AFC. An 8-8 San Diego team is in the playoffs, but not the Patriots? They finished tied with Miami at the top of the AFC East, but they're not in the playoffs? What kind of arbitrary system is this? If we are really going to get the best teams in the NFL, then should we let these random conferences and divisions determine who has the opportunity to play in the post-season? Should we have a random tie-breaker dictate whether or not New England makes it rather than their on-field play? The fact is that leaving the Patriots out of the playoffs is just as insufficient and unfair as leaving Texas out of the national championship game. What's that? Oh, you thought having a playoff solved ALL of the issues. I guess you were wrong.

If you don't have anything smart to say, then please don't talk!

My wish for Christmas is for the sports broadcasters to get brains. They simply regurgitate the same meaningless information propagated by their mother ship, which in almost all cases is ESPN. Typically at thee networks, the same game notes go to the entire network staff about all of the games, allowing them to perpetuate whatever beliefs, or myths, the author of such notes believes his or herself.

I am personally dealing with the repercussions of their idiocy at this very moment watching the Champs Sports Bowl, featuring Wisconsin and Florida State. Unfortunately, these brainiacs have been talking about FSU's speed all day long. It's like a two-year old who learns a new word and chooses to use that word, even when it's completely inappropriate. In this case, Wisconsin attempted a screen pass, which became a lateral, which became a fumble, which was then recovered by FSU linebacker Derek Nicholson for a touchdown. Truthfully, it had nothing to do with speed. And I wouldn't be that irritated with the broadcasters' observation of Florida State's speed on that play if it hadn't been for how much it irritated my father. He has been yelling at "those idiots" ever since and I can no longer watch the game in peace.

An Ode to Graham Harrell

Mike Leach is right when it comes to the politics of the greatest honor in college football: the Heisman Trophy. It is a shame that Graham Harrell won't be in New York on Saturday to share in the presentation of the award for which he deserved to be recognized as a finalist. So here is what I have to say...

4747: An Ode to Graham Harrell

So you didn't hit the numbers you had last year
five seven zero five and forty-eight to be clear
but you did lead your team to a top ten spot
and you were one game shy of playing for the pot

forty-one passes that went for six
while just seven of your passes went for picks
harrell to crabtree, such a beautiful sight
406 passes completed leads the country alright

but mccoy completed over 77% of what he threw
and he doesn't just throw, he can run the ball too
and sam bradford has earned a spot in the title game
with 186.3-- his Q-B rating is insane

as for tim tebow, his numbers really don't impress
he leads his team well but he's not better than the rest
with percy harvin and that defense, there's talent galore
but the media is a great customer and florida's a whore

so the question is, graham harrell, where does that leave you?
In the record books for one and a bowl game for two
but more importantly if you show up at the combine to impress
In a football uniform on Sundays, you just might be dressed.

Plaxico Burress: A Story of Inspiration

As odd as it seems, Plaxico Burress has inspired my fantasy football league. We already have a Moral Enforcer to punish those teams that own players who commit crimes. But now we have instated a new division of enforcement thanks in large part to the man who shot himself in his leg with his own gun. Let me introduce you all to our new Moron Enforcer, Christina. A prosecutor by day. Christina will be imposing fines against those who act like complete idiots. In this case, Plaxico's owner would be under double penalties. First, if convicted, he will be fined by our Moral Enforcer, Malia, for the act of carrying a concealed weapon. In addition, regardless of the outcome of the legal proceedings, he will also be fined by our Moron Enforcer for the act of shooting himself. Over the years, many football players have given us plenty of sources for creating new fantasy football rules. But this one is truly a gift.

Issues Governed by the Moron Enforcer:
1. Acts performed on oneself, that while not illegal, if done by said individual to another person would be considered a criminal act. Penalty $5.
2. Having unprotected sex which results in requests for child support payments when the paternity of the child is either uncertain or seriously in doubt. Penalty $1.
3. Getting hurt during a game due to an act of celebration. Penalty $1.
4. Missing one game or more due to an injury incurred outside of football that could be considered foolish. Please note that riding a motorcycle is a per se violation of this section four. Penalty $3.
5. Getting stabbed or shot by your girlfriend, aka "The William Green Rule." Penalty $7.
6. Ending up on Page Six of the New York Post. Penalty $1.
7. Beginning a touchdown celebration before scoring the touchdown and not scoring the touchdown as a result of such celebration, aka "The DeSean Jackson Rule." Penalty $2.

It's Not Fair!!!

"Whhaaaahhh...it's not fair." If I have to hear that statement from grown men one more time, I might just jump off my 27th floor balcony for fear that there aren't any real men out there anymore. So it's not fair that Notre Dame didn't fire Charlie Weiss because they fired Tyrone Willingham? Seriously? Seriously, this is your argument? Boys, please grow up and realize that life is not fair. In a sport where coaches can get fired just a year after signing an extension, where the average tenure of an FBS coach in 2008 was 4.7 years and where guys like Nick Saban are outraged at the lack of loyalty to college football coaches, I'm not certain what is supposed to be fair. To set the record straight on Willingham (who is an amazing scout of quarterback talent and perhaps should take his skills to the NFL), he was not Notre Dame's guy, but hired because the idiots on the hiring committee failed to check George O'Leary's resume. Anyone who has applied for a job in the last few years understands how ridiculous this incident was because the rest of us are screened with an assumption that we are lying, on drugs and may have committed a dangerous crime in order to submit a simple job application. Regardless, Ty saved the day for the Irish and made them look good after that embarrassing debacle. As we move on to Ty's firing, I repeat, he was not Notre Dame's guy. And when those same idiots on the hiring committee decided they wanted Urban Meyer, they had no choice but to fire Willingham and open the door for Meyer to spit in their faces. That arrogance that made them believe they could have any coach is what made them prematurely fire Willingham--it wasn't simply about his record. After the Meyer incident, enter Charlie Weiss as the latest savior. He wasn't Notre Dame's guy either, but those in power wanted to believe that this time they got lucky. They didn't. They are idiots. Yes, it really is as simple as that for all of you conspiracy theorists out there. But, if there's one smart move they made this year it was NOT to fire Charlie Weiss. The reason? Who the heck are they going to hire instead? There are approximately 17 (I repeat, SEVENTEEN) head football coaching positions available at FBS schools at this moment. The competition for the best coaches is fierce. And why should a beaten down Irish organization that has only won 9 games the last two seasons try to compete with Auburn, Clemson, Tennessee, Washington, Mississippi State, Kansas State, etc. right now? It isn't even certain what current coaches can be lured away at the moment. The fact is that they have no business entering the competition to find a head coach under these circumstances unless they want to pick from amongst the fired/failed/resigned crew. If Notre Dame were to fire Weiss, they would find themselves in just as bad of a position as they have been in the last two times they went searching for a coach. They made the right decision in sticking in out with Weiss. But this isn't about what's fair to Willingham. He has already found and lost another head coaching job. And as much as I like the guy, this is just NOT about him. It's about what's right for Notre Dame. SO, if you cry-babies out there could just put down your pacifiers for a moment and listen, you might understand that fairness is a meaningless word in a non-socialist society. Please Obama don't make me eat these words.

Tony K. on the Big 12 Championship:

In what is possibly his most brilliant Monday Night Football moment, Tony Kornheiser so eloquently stated "I can't believe that the Big 12 would allow voters from New York and California and Pennsylvania and Illinois to decide who they send to their championship game. Make the decision yourself, it's your conference."

BCS Takes the Blame Once Again

It's this time of year when one has to love all those bloggers out there who feel the need to cry and whine about wanting a college football playoff and by love, I mean, dislike completely. None of them seem to grasp the concept that the BCS did not make the decision to determine the fate of the Big 12 Championship, but that the Big 12 decided to use the BCS for that purpose. That's their decision and their's alone. And for those of you who want a playoff, who do you think should play? Maybe have Alabama play Florida? Check. Oklahoma play Texas Tech? Check. Texas play Texas Tech? Check. The fact is that the SEC and the Big 12 have been greuling it out all year and a team from each of those conferences deserves to be playing in the national championship. And that is exactly what is going to happen (unless of course by some ugly twist of fate, Oklahoma chokes in the Big 12 Championship, as it has done before and USC moves up after a rather easy-going year to play for a title they didn't have to fight for). As for how you determine who represents each conference, that is up to the conferences themselves. The SEC got it right this year. As for the Big 12, I personally believe that Oklahoma is the best team in the country. With that said, Texas may have the better chance of winning the national title.

The SEC got lucky in that the two best teams are in different divisions. But perhaps what could be done instead of moving Texas or Oklahoma to the Big 12 North, is just having the top two teams play each other regardless of division. In some cases you would have a useless replay of a recent game. But in this case, you would have Oklahoma and Texas face off again and see if anything has changed since October 11th. Regardless, I have seen week after week of playoff atmosphere football and there is no need to change it now. Perhaps just tweak the BCS once again and make the conferences take responsibility for their own messes.

And for those of us who truly love college football, things are fine the way they are. It's those out there who have no interest in watching 15 straight weeks of college football that want to see a playoff.

The Actress vs. the College Football Researchers

Here are the results of our game picks from last Saturday. There were a total of 26 games we picked straight up, without considering the spread.

Angelique: 18
Dave: 19
Steph: 19
Jr.: 21

Now, Dave and I have been working in sports for years, Jr. was a golfer in college and was an intern with ABC/ESPN before joining full time and Angelique is an actress who despises watching football. Funny how she was within one game of tying Dave and me and I don't think she has watched a college football game since her ex-boyfriend dragged her to a Kentucky v. Louisville game years ago against her will. That would be the weekend an unsuspecting crowd learned the phrase..."Oh yeah...and that's how we do in New York." One can only imagine what this was in response to and what happened next, but let's just say I think there are a few people in Kentucky still licking their wounds.

But I digress. My point is that there is nothing impressive about picking games or being right about games or anything that has to do with gambling. It's simply fun for those of you who don't love the sport and need something to garner your interest. So for all of you ladies who might be intimidated by how much the guys "know" about football, it's actually not as difficult as you think to be on their level. In fact, Angelique was already on the basic level with many of the guys out watching the games simply on the basis of her making picks. And if you want to be considered an expert, here is a quick tutorial on what you need to do:

1) Watch the pre-game show while you're getting ready to go to the bar to meet up with the guys;
2) Memorize who played in and who won each Super Bowl (there have only been 42 so it's really not that hard); and
3) Look up all of the football games being played that day and then just randomly pick who you think should win based on whatever you want, whether it be team colors, names, states, cities, etc. and then as the games unfold make sure you tell everyone in the bar which ones you got right. You will be considered hard-core at this point.

Remember it's not about what you know, it's about what you pretend to know. If you can do that, not only will every guy out there think that you are a football genius, you will have equalled, if not surpassed the majority of the guys you meet at the bar in terms football knowledge. Now if you don't want to expose these guys for who they really are, just sit back, relax, watch the game and let them relish in their glory. Just the way they let us...actually I'm not sure they ever let us do that without calling us out...but, you know what I mean...

And, yes, Jr., you won both straight up and against the spread...we'll be sure to rub that in Dave's face on Saturday...