“If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?”

As I’ve mentioned before, I find that watching a football game with the guys has turned into a twisted contest in which each tries to prove how “right” he is. Perhaps that’s because in society we are always telling men they are wrong and this is a way for them to redeem themselves. The end result is that they almost seem to believe that their worth is determined by their ability to predict games. Have you ever seen a man hours after he has predicted a Ball State upset this year (as we all know they finished the regular season 12-0)? Depressed, despondent, lonely, that is, until the 8 o’clock games roll around and he can find redemption. It is all so meaningless and the fact is that the “skill” they are truly using in predicting games is instinct. Ironically, “women’s intuition” is one of their most valuable resource when it comes to football. (And, yes, it is in quotes because it’s not just for women, we just admit to using our intuition). And even more valuable than that is luck. Yet somehow these guys expect to earn credit and credibility for their “achievements” by guessing a game correctly. Guys--you can continue to pick games, but don’t think that you’re earning any intelligence points. Your logic and reasoning that lead you to those choices is what matters even more than your result.

That is actually the big problem I have with sports television these days. I don’t want to know their answer—I want to know the facts and the logic behind it. The broadcasters have fallen into a trap of simply picking a team with the most basic, obvious facts to support them. If I want to listen to a man argue just for the sake of it, I’ll call up my friend Eric. But I don’t want to waste my valuable television time doing that. I would rather spend the time reading what the beat writers have to say about the subject. Do I care what random sportscaster went 0-6 for the week? It doesn’t affect my opinion of her/him the same way that going 6-6 is meaningless as well.

And to prove this, I realize I get just as much valuable information from my friend Angelique as I do these guys. She is an actress who does not like football and does not watch football…ever. See below for her picks (in bold) for the college football games this Saturday and her reasoning, which I consider just as substantial if not more so than the “experts” because she is truly in tune with her sixth sense.

Auburn @ Alabama. My friend Mary was talking about Alabama.
Oklahoma @ Oklahoma State. I like the musical Oklahoma!
Florida @ Florida State. Just because.
Notre Dame @ USC. I like that school (boooo)
Baylor @ Texas Tech. I think the name is cool.
Georgia Tech @ Georgia. Just because.
Kansas @ Missouri. I like cows.
Syracuse @ Cincinnati. I hate that place (Syracuse)!
Oregon @ Oregon State. Just because.
Maryland @ Boston College. I like Maryland.
South Carolina @ Clemson. I don’t even know what Clemson is.
Virginia @ Virginia Tech. The name sounds official.
Miami @ NC State. Warm...
UAB @ UCF. I like the letters.
Arkansas St. @ North Texas. I like the state of Arkansas.
Nevada @ Louisiana Tech. I like the name—it sounds official.
Southern Miss @ SMU. It sounds better than Smoo.
New Mexico St. @ Utah St. I don’t like Utah St. because I’m afraid of Mormons.
North Carolina @ Duke. Because Tucker Max went to Duke (hey Ang, I went there too!)
Tulsa@ Marshall. It reminds me of a type of dance (Ang is a professional ballroom dancer also).
Houston@Rice. I like the City and the restaurant (Houston’s Steak House).
Tulane@Memphis. It makes me think of “Walking in Memphis” and I like that song.
Florida Int’l @ Florida Atlantic. I don’t like to travel internationally.
Kentucky @ Tennessee. It’s a cool shaped state.
Vanderbilt @ Wake Forest. I would like to wake up in the forest.
Washington St. @ Hawaii. I want to live there.